Reclaiming Your Voice After Burnout + Identity Loss

She’s doing it all—holding the job, managing the home, showing up for everyone else—and somewhere in the middle of that, she disappears. Not by choice. But because she doesn’t know how to be anything else right now.

In this episode of The Voicekeeper Podcast, Caroline shares a deeply personal reflection on what happens when you live in too many roles, in too many worlds—and forget your own. From the little moments of disconnection to the full-on breakdowns, she takes you inside what it really means to reclaim your voice, your identity, and your sacred center in a culture that celebrates overfunctioning.

This isn’t about productivity. This is about remembering yourself. Because your voice matters—not just for what it does, but for who it is.

When you’re doing everything but not listening to yourself

One of the first signs I noticed in myself was how easy it became to ignore my own voice. I could hear everyone else’s needs clearly, but mine were a faint whisper. And because I wasn’t listening to myself, I couldn’t make aligned decisions. Everything felt cloudy. If you’ve ever found yourself second-guessing every move or waiting for permission to trust your gut, this is your cue to tune back in. Your intuition doesn’t leave—you just have to make space for it again.

When your emotional labor is off the charts

Women—especially women with big hearts and big responsibilities—are often carrying so much invisible labor. We are the ones holding the emotional energy for our families, our clients, our teams. Over time, that weight adds up. If no one is holding space for you, it’s incredibly easy to lose yourself in the swirl of care. The antidote isn’t necessarily doing less—it’s being held. Finding spaces where you get to be the one supported is essential.

When you’ve stopped hearing your own voice

This is where it gets tender. There’s a moment when you realize you can’t hear yourself anymore. Not just your thoughts, but your truth. Your soul’s voice. Your desires. And when you can’t hear your own voice, it becomes impossible to express it—to speak your needs, to advocate for yourself, to share your gifts. This episode is an invitation to start listening again. To slow down, even just for a moment, and ask: What is my voice saying?

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, overextended, or unsure how to begin reclaiming yourself, I created this episode to be a soft landing and a gentle nudge. Your voice is still here. And it’s time to come home to it.

🔗 Resources to support you:

• Join the waitlist for The Voicekeeper Circle

• Download the free guided meditation

• Visit my shop for soul-centered resources

• Follow me on Insight Timer

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The Transcript for The Voicekeeper Podcast:

012: Reclaiming Your Voice After Burnout + Identity Loss

[00:00:00] She is doing it all, holding the job, managing the home, showing up for the kids, trying to be a good partner, texting back, scheduling the dentist, folding the laundry while thinking about a deadline, and somewhere in the middle of all of that, she disappears, not because she wants to. But because she doesn't know how to be anything else right now, if you've ever felt like your identity is scattered across a thousand roles and you're not sure when you last felt like yourself, I see you.

I've lived this. I've been the one who's smiling, checking boxes, answering emails, showing up for everyone, but silently wondering where did I go?

​[00:01:00] 

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Voice Keeper Podcast. I'm Caroline, your spiritual coach and fellow human navigating this wild, full, beautiful, sometimes overwhelming life. And today's episode is a love letter of sorts to the woman who's stretched thin, who's doing everything she thought she had to do, but who's feeling so far away from herself.

But before we go any further, I want to invite you to take a breath. If your jaw is tight, soften it, even massage it if you need to. I know that I clinch my jaw when I'm stressed. If your shoulders are creeping towards your ears, let them drop. If you're driving in your car while you're listening to this, you can do this with your hands on the steering wheel.

Just drop [00:02:00] your shoulders and now, and now place your hand on your heart or belly, anywhere that feels comfortable to you. And you're gonna ask yourself, when was the last time I felt like me? Not the caretaker, not the task master, not the partner, but just me.

So many of us are living fragmented, right? We move from one identity to the next. We're constantly switching hats. And we normalize it because that's what we're taught, right? We live in this society where we are supposed to fill all these roles and be operating at full capacity, right? But being high functioning is not the same thing as being connected.

And, and when you are operating in multiple worlds without rest, [00:03:00] without space, without reflection, that cost. The cost to do that, to operate that way builds quietly until one day you don't recognize yourself anymore.

I find that this is a universal experience, especially for women. You know, we, we take on a lot. , And some of it is self-inflicted for sure, and some of it is societal pressure, like the things that we're supposed to do. And I feel like in today's moment, in this moment and time in the world, that feels even heavier.

. I think because you know of the economy, , a lot of things, right? We are just doing it all. , I know that I can definitely relate to this. I homeschool my kids. I run a business. I'm also a Girl Scout troop leader. I'm also a wife. I'm a pet mom. And lately I've been having to pick up odd jobs.

So it's just, I'm a chef. , My daughter has food allergies, so I have to basically cook every meal that [00:04:00] we have. , It's very difficult for us to buy things, you know, already made or to get things from restaurants. So there's just a lot, there's a lot going on, and I'm not in a moment in a space to have like staff helping me, right?

I don't have anybody cleaning my house. I don't have a personal chef. It's all on me. And there are days when it feels. Really overwhelming. And it's kind of funny that we're recording this episode today because yesterday I honestly had like a little breakdown. Yes, me, even me who's been on this journey had a breakdown.

Because even when it feels like you have all the tools, it can still get really overwhelming. And I'm gonna talk a little bit about these tools here in a minute because I think there's a really important, uh, lesson that I learned from this moment. , But. You know, this, this happened to me big time a few years ago, and I do wanna say like, you don't have to have this incredible moment of breakdown or this incredible moment [00:05:00] of, you know, you don't have to have something transformative happen.

, You know, my story is so big, right? Like I, my heart, I had to go, have my heart stop seven times. . I wanted to, I, I started questioning my existence. You know, I had these big moments. But here's the thing that we don't talk about enough is that sometimes it, it's not the big moments, it's the little moments.

You know, it's the getting dressed in the morning and realizing you haven't bought a new pair of pants and forever, but you kid needs new pants, so you gotta take them to get new pants first. Right? Or it's driving to work and like questioning like, oh. Why am I doing this? Why am I getting in this car every day and driving in rush hour traffic for this job that I don't love?

You know, it can show up in big and little ways, and I think that's really important to acknowledge. I think the thing that I want you to get out of this more than anything is that you are not alone. If you're feeling this way, like. We give so much of [00:06:00] ourselves, especially if you've had to be a caretaker or you know, you're doing things for other people, , keeping other people's schedules that can really start to wear down on you.

And I just wanna let you know that like, this isn't weakness. This is literally what happens when there is no room for your soul. There's no room for you spiritually to connect to yourself. And that is why like the work I do is so, so important to me because I have realized, and I know from my own experience, that when you are not connected to yourself, you start to disconnect from all of these things that you're doing and you start to just going through the motions.

And we don't wanna live our lives just going through the motions, right? We wanna live our best life. We wanna wake up every day excited to be awake, excited for what the day is going to bring. And you can't do that if you've lost the connection. So let's, let's chat about this a little [00:07:00] bit. Being everything to everyone is unsustainable.

I know, I know. Crazy, right? It's not just burnout, it can become, it's not just burnout, it can become identity loss. When you become the glue for everyone else's needs, you stop tending to your own. How many of you can resonate with that?

You know, I, I see this so much in myself and other women. , We give so much of ourselves, and it's like you, you start taking pieces off until there's nothing left. To take off, right? And so when it's time to give back to yourself, you have nothing to give to yourself. And I want you to think about like where have you over identified with a role?

Mom, wife, business [00:08:00] owner, CEO, whatever, and forgotten the person underneath it. You know, we've been taught that our worth isn't being needed, is in our work, right? But that kind of worth is fragile because it's always earned. It's never rooted or connected to who we are in our higher self. I definitely felt this last night when I had a meltdown about the state of my house and how nobody was helping me.

Um. Oh, my eyes are watering. Um, and you know, and it wasn't pretty, and it's not something I'm proud of, but it's because, you know, I was trying to be everything to everyone and trying to do all the things. And so when I needed to give back to myself, there wasn't anything to give back to. And I had taught the people around me, right.

Taught them that they don't have to pour into me [00:09:00] either because I can do it all. And so, you know, that can lead to crying. Crying and having a meltdown. And that's okay. That's okay. I want you to know that like you're not broken, you're disconnected. When you can't hear your own voice, it doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.

It just means that you've been too busy carrying the weight of everything else. I had mentioned that the spiritual connection here is really important, and that having that connection to yourself, to your higher self and to your inner voice is so, so important, and this is where that spiritual connection becomes vital because.

I do not believe that spirituality is about escaping your life or reaching outside of yourself. I believe it's about returning to yourself inside, right inside your life, inside of your daily experience. It's about returning to yourself. It's about reclaiming your energy, your [00:10:00] boundaries, and your breath.

So I mentioned that there was something that, , led to this breakdown and I was chatting with my accountability partner. I'm gonna shout her out. Hi Heather. , Today on my, in our Voxer, and I said to her, you know, I realized that for a few days I had not gotten up and done my normal routines, so. There are a couple things that are really, really important to me to do every day.

One of them is movement. I try to move every day if I can. , I will be completely honest right now. A lot of my motivation comes from, uh, fitting into certain outfits, but it's also because I feel better, I feel stronger. , So movement is really important to me. Meditation is really important to me.

Journaling, and then also doing my card pulls. And I had not done those things because I was so busy trying to be all the things do, all the things I had forgot to pour into myself. So this morning I was like, no, we're not gonna do that again. We're gonna do our routine. [00:11:00] So this morning I got up, I did my yoga.

My kids were still asleep. It was glorious. I did my yoga with my music. I loved it. I did my weights, I did my meditation, my prayer for the day. I did a couple of card pulls. Actually, it was really fun because I did a cardpool for myself. So I usually will, I have several decks of Oracle cards and tarot decks, and I will say, you know, I'll pick whatever deck I feel like is resonating to me, and I'll say, okay, what do I need to know today?

And. I'll listen to my inner voice. Sometimes my inner voice is like, you just need one card and it, here's the card. And then sometimes my inner voice is like, you need a few. This morning I really felt like I wanted to like get my hands in my decks, so I pulled three cards from one deck, one card from another deck, and one card from another deck.

And it was really funny because the cards I pulled were all about changing my perspective. Connecting to myself and connecting to my [00:12:00] soul. And if that did not speak to the moment, I don't know. It does, because I was feeling disconnected. You know, I had that breakdown because I was feeling disconnected. I had, I had let go.

I had let the busyness of life get in the way of the things that help me to feel connected. You know, part of spirituality is. Is finding what helps you to feel connected to whatever you believe, you know, higher power, higher self. All of those things is very, very important and I had neglected those for days and so.

It made total sense that I had a breakdown. Now, I am still tired today. My eyes are swollen, not from crying. I had a reaction to something, but my eyes are swollen and watering. I don't feel a hundred percent myself, but let me tell you, I feel so much closer to her than I did yesterday because I took the time to do those sinks.

These are not productivity hacks like I wanna be very clear. I do not view meditation, ritual journaling, rest, [00:13:00] sacred rest as productivity hacks. I see these as doorways back to your higher self. That's why they're so important to me, and that's why they're such a huge part of the work that I do. You know, I know that if I am not meditating, if I am not taking the time to journal and connect with me, that connection is going to start to feel further and further away.

So. From this conversation, I, I really hope that you will think about like, what is something that I can do to start connecting to myself. And if this is very new to you and you're like, Caroline, I don't know, I have a lot of resources for you, you can, , grab my free meditation, caroline hold.com/meditation.

I have a shop on my website, caroline hole.com. , I do readings I. Do custom meditations, but then I also have a couple of meditation meditations in there as well. And I'm also on Insight Timer. Insight Timer is an amazing app, , [00:14:00] with tons of meditations. What I love to do on Insight Timer is just like, go on there.

So yes, last night I did a meditation. I can't remember exactly what I searched, I'm pretty sure it was like. I'm so stressed out or something like that, and up popped a breath work, , that I did to, , release blocks, which I felt was very much what I needed in that moment. So there are some really great things out there.

I would definitely start with my free meditation. , Definitely go check out Insight timer. I'm on there as well, so be sure to follow me. , But those are great places to start. , and start creating a ritual for you. You know, start creating a way when you do feel that disconnect, you can, you can do something to start returning.

And I wanna talk a bit a minute about reclaiming your voice, because you're gonna hear me say that a lot. And reclaiming your voice really means reclaiming your soul. [00:15:00] It means reconnecting with the truth of yourself. You are not just a list of responsibilities like you are a soul with needs, desires, wisdom, and a very, very important voice, and it's all still in there.

Even if you don't feel like you're connected to her anymore, to that voice, it's all still in there. And so I have a couple of reflections for you to think about if you didn't have to hold it all. Yeah. Would you want, what would you want to reclaim? So if, if you could like just lay down all of your responsibilities today and do anything, reclaim something for yourself, what would it be?

And this is a question that you'll hear me ask you a lot. What truth is trying to speak beneath the noise. And when I say the noise, I mean that list of responsibilities, right? I mean that voice in your head that's telling you you [00:16:00] need to work an extra shift this week, or that voice in your head that's telling you, oh my gosh, you forgot to buy soccer cleats for your kid.

Like if you were to wipe all that and just listen to yourself, what is your voice trying to tell you? Mine in this moment is telling me that I need to get more sleep, and I've been ignoring it. For weeks, and it's catching up to me, I am exhausted, which is why when I finish recording this episode, I'm gonna go make another cup of coffee.

But I really hope that this episode helps you to see that if you're waking up this morning and you're like, this is not how I wanna live my life. There is a way out. there's things that you can do. There are steps that you can take to reclaim your voice. To reclaim your identity and if this episode landed for you in any way, if you've been living in too many worlds and forgetting your own, I invite you to come [00:17:00] back to your center with me.

I am so excited to announce. That at the end of this month, this is August, the voice keeper circle will be opening. This is the culmination of. A dream and a wish and a community that I have been wanting to build.

And it is your sacred space for reclaiming your voice, your rhythm, and yourself. You can join the wait list now. You can head to caroline hall.com/circle and you will be the first to know when it opens. And also there will be a special bonus for my wait list peeps. So definitely go check that out and like, you don't have to do this alone.

You don't have to keep performing strength. There is space for you to take time for yourself and to reclaim who you are. So let's close out this episode. You don't have to keep disappearing in order to be loved. You don't have to carry all the roles to be worthy. Your voice [00:18:00] matters not just for what it does, but for who it is.

I want you to take one last breath with me and inhale and exhale. This may be an end of a podcast episode, but this is just the beginning and I want you to affirm I return to myself with softness and truth. I remember who I am beneath the roles I hold. I'll see you next time.

​ [00:19:00] 

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